Man Caught on Video Shoving Poop Into Woman’s Shorts

Somewhere out there is a deranged man who was caught on video shoving poop down a random woman’s shorts.

Tom Wilson with New York Post reports:

A man stuffed a sack of his own feces down a woman’s shorts on the Upper East Side Monday night before groping her and fleeing, according to police.

Shocking video footage shows the deranged perv approaching and grabbing the victim, 27, from behind while she talks on a cell phone around 6 p.m near E 75th and 1st Ave.

After a brief struggle, he can be seen peeling off a latex glove and tossing it into the street as he flees the scene.

The suspect is described as a bearded man of about 40, 6 feet tall and around 200 pounds, last seen in jeans and a green shirt.

There are so many unanswered questions here. Was it actually the man’s own feces, or did he obtain it from somewhere else. How does somebody have the presence of mind to wear gloves, yet be deranged enough to commit this act? What is the motivation for shoving poop down a woman’s shorts?

I’ve got to say that I am tired of all these poo shovers. It seems we can’t even go a week now without some deranged weirdie shoving their poop in somebody else’s britches. It’s about time that we legislate this as its own special statute so that we can more effectively stop criminals from shoving poop into the pants of hapless individuals.

I propose that we also attempt to not only legislate the act of shoving poop, but the poo itself. We cannot allow anybody to be in possession of this dangerous material. Even trustworthy individuals need to be prohibited from poop possession, just in case the poo ends up being sold illegally on the brown market.

 

  • APD Midnights

    Re:”The suspect is described as a bearded man of about 40, 6 feet tall and around 200 pounds, last seen in jeans and a green shirt.”
    Did he have a race? Oh yeah…forgot the PC restriction.